Episode 11

Sandra & Em share what the last two months of the pandemic has been like for them, during the break in podcast recording.

Then we get into the topic of the day: How do you prefer to make decisions – the Thinking vs. Feeling preference in Myers-Briggs

Thinking vs Feeling:

  • Listen to Episode 2 for a discussion on handedness and how it compares to Myers-Briggs preferences (Episode 9 for Thinking vs Feeling in Kids)
  • Thinking vs Feeling deals with how you prefer to make decisions
  • Thinking: step out of the situation, considering only objective logical data 
  • Feeling: step into the situation, considering the feelings/values of self and others
  • We all can do both of these things, and both are equally valid ways of coming to conclusions, but one of them feels more comfortable and natural to us. 

Thinking Parents/Adults: 

(from Just Your Type by Paul & Barbara Tieger)

  • Value objective logic and analysis – and that feelings get in the way of being able to do this
  • Believe it’s better to be truthful than tactful
  • Are fair and consistent – apply one standard to all
  • Motivated by achievements
  • Like to compete and win
  • Easily see flaws; can be critical
  • Not easily butt-hurt

Feeling Parents/Adults:

  • Value sensitivity and empathy
  • Believe it’s better to be tactful than truthful
  • Like harmony
  • Look for extenuating circumstances – see every person and situation as unique
  • Motivated by being appreciated
  • Like to cooperate and create consensus
  • Like to please others; express appreciation easily
  • Take things more personally, have more difficulty with criticism

Where you might get tripped up:

  • How were you raised? Were you taught that “Thinking” is better or “Feeling” is better and have you strived toward one that may not be your natural inclination?
  • What you use at work vs in personal life?
  • Two types of Thinking:
    • Extraverted Thinking: Values external standards of logic
    • Introverted Thinking: Values internal standards of logic
    • (does not have anything to do with whether you are an introvert or extravert)
  • Two types of Feeling:
    • Introverted Feeling: Oriented toward the individual / personal internal set of values/likes/dislikes
    • Extraverted Feeling: Oriented toward the collective good of others / external set of guidelines

E-mail Call-out: Do you have a preference for Thinking or Feeling? Are you having a hard time determining?

What’s upcoming: 

How to navigate Thinking vs Feeling in your parenting relationship

Collab with Glimmering

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