Episode 70

Sandra and Em talk about how the cognitive function of Extraverted Thinking (nicknamed Efficient Thinking) shows up in parents. This function is used by people who have ESTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ and INTJ preferences in the Myers-Briggs personality type model. 

Links and references:

Find Your Child’s Myers-Briggs Type
Myers-Briggs Basics
Cognitive Function Cheat Sheet

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Full show notes: 

Overview of Efficient Thinking

An Extraverted function: deals with the outer world

A Judging function: deals with how we make decisions. Check out episode 12 for Thinking vs Feeling in parents

Efficient Thinking parents use external evidence and objective standards of measurement to make decisions in an efficient way.

Four Facets

Like objective, external reasoning: They make decisions based on the evidence they can see in front of them – and more standardized ways of measuring (not feelings!)

Accomplish and Implement: They want to get things done in an effort to build toward a measurable outcome. 

Value efficiency: they are great at managing resources to get things done in the most effective way. Check to make sure things are working properly and in the best way and implement systems/procedures to make sure that they stay that way.

Decide Quickly and Confidently: Because they decide easily and quickly, they can come off as very confident 

Potential Struggles:

• Forget to align what you are doing with important values
• May come off as overly directive 
• Forget to address their emotions – because it feels inefficient to dwell in that space 
• Neglect social connection and social skills
• Over-plan and try to measure everything, when not everything can be quantified
• Attached to the clock/schedule/to-do list, unable to rest or be in the moment
• Come off as critical, correcting everyone around them
• Treat people as resources instead of people

What’s the parenting style:

• The manager of the house. They like to be in control and they do it well! Thrive on managing all the tasks associated with parenting and creating schedules and systems to get things done and accomplished
• Naturally take charge. Have no problem saying “no” and doling out rules and consequences
• Keep things busy and tightly packed (especially for ESTJ/ENTJ), often taking on TOO much
• Can get caught up in the to-do list. Not taking time to be in the present moment.
• Difficult time being patient with children’s emotional needs. Prefer to solve the problem rather than address the emotion.
• Will champion their kids to make sure their needs are met at school or otherwise – when something is wrong they will crusade to make sure it is fixed
• Difficulty being flexible to schedule changes or the inefficiencies of kids’ chaos and emotions

Write in or leave a comment: Are you a parent with Efficient Thinking or do you know one? Do you notice these themes in your parenting? Tell us about that.